Too Far Gone
by BlameTheGame
Summary: JJ was abducted and presumed dead 3 months ago. That was, until Aaron Hotchner got a call that changed everything. What has happened in the months JJ was missing? Will she be too far gone by the time the team gets to her? Set mid season 7. No Will/Henry. Rated T for now, may change later on.
1. Chapter 1

"Look, Agent Hotchner, I understand that Agent Jareau was a friend of yours, but you're going to have to accept that she's gone sooner or later. She was taken by the unsub over three months ago and he never kept his victims for longer than a couple of days." Strauss stated over the phone with a hint of sympathy in her tone.

"I know that Chief Strauss, but we haven't found her body, so we can't be sure that she's..." Hotch couldn't say it. _That_ word. Because if he said it, he'd have to accept the truth. That Agent Jennifer Jareau went missing 3 painstakingly long months ago and was most likely... dead.

Erin Strauss, understanding that Hotch couldn't complete his statement, carried on. "Aaron," she said his first name softly as to show that she wasn't trying to be professional in this discussion, "she was your friend. Your team member. I know that. I was quite fond of her as well. But we have to face facts. Jennifer was abducted by the unsub in Florida, and 2 days after that another woman went missing. I know the body hasn't been found, but his other victims were only found because a storm washed away the shallow graves they were in. Their bodies weren't meant to be found, and since he realized that, he probably... disposed of her some other way. I'm sorry Aaron, I really am."

Hotch took a deep breath and willed the surfacing tears he could feel coming away. He knew all of this in his mind. He knew that it was highly unlikely JJ was still alive. He knew that him holding on to hope was only making this experience harder. He tried to keep his voice even when he said, "I'm aware, ma'am, but we still haven't caught the guy."

"The case went cold after the girl consequent to Jennifer was taken, Aaron. He probably thought your team was closing in on him, so he disappeared. I want to catch him just as much as you, but it's going to be near impossible to catch him until he starts up again." She replied.

She continued, stricter this time, "You've been on 3 cases since Jennifer's disappearance and all of them haven't ended as hoped, Aaron. You need to pull your team together or I will be forced to take action. The director is breathing down my neck about this and the situation won't end well if he gets involved. I apologize that I have to do this, but Jennifer wouldn't have wanted you to be so preoccupied with her that you don't put your full effort into helping others."

Hotch sighed. She was right. JJ would be furious with all of them if she knew they'd practically fallen apart as a team since her abduction.

Garcia can barely focus anymore and has paid several visits to the Bureau therapist, even after the whole team was evaluated. She has definitely been the most emotional about the situation, having been caught sobbing in her office on several occassions.

Prentiss barely speaks to anyone and has a very short temper when she does. She constantly stares at a picture of herself and JJ on Emily's 38th birthday where JJ had planned a surprise party for her, even after she explicitly said she didn't want one. Despite her annoyance at the party at first, she quickly gave in and had an amazing time with her colleagues and would give anything to experience it again.

Rossi has tried to compartmentalize his emotions and be the glue to keep everyone together, but he barely cracks jokes anymore and spends most of his time in his office nowadays. Hotch knows he isn't as nearly as okay as he seems to be.

Reid has completely fallen off the wagon as he can barely focus and has a permanent pair of dark circles under his eyes. Hotch suspects that he goes home and reads through the case file about JJ's disappearance for hours and tries to find out where the bastard who took her could have gone, causing him to get no sleep.

Morgan has a very tiny threshold for anger management, as could be seen on their last case where he yelled at police officers who he deemed weren't doing their job adequately. He spends most of his time at the gym, working off his never-ending rage.

And Agent Hotchner himself has put his full effort into investigating the case, determined to find the unsub who ruined his team. He doesn't act as a leader anymore, efficiently conducting and managing his fellow agents. Instead, he leaves everyone to figure out where and what to do on their own.

"You're right, ma'am. I will tell the team." He said, desperate to end the conversation. He still had the overwhelming urge to look through JJ's case file for the thousandth time, but he now was aware that he needed to help his team. He needed to be a leader again. JJ would've wanted that.

"Good. I'll speak to you later Agent Hotchner." She stated, using her professional tone, and then hung up.

Hotch sighed again and fell back in his chair, putting his head in his hands. The weight of the last 3 months was suffocating. It was like a repeat of when Haley died. He was devastated, angry, hopeless, and most of all, so damn guilty.

It was his fault JJ was taken. He shouldn't have sent her to interview the parents of the third victim alone. He should have gone with her. Because of his ignorance, she was gone.

And he hated himself for that.

Hotch was pulled out of his thoughts by his desk phone ringing.

 _Ugh who is it now? Another Bureau official calling to scold him on how much of a terrible unit chief he's been lately? Yeah, no thanks._

Hotch considered not answering the phone, and acting like he was busy or doing something important. But he knew that he would have to deal with them eventually anyway, so he might as well get it over with now.

He answered the phone with a dull, "Agent Hotchner."

"Hi, Agent Hotchner, my name is Melanie Malcolm and I'm a doctor at John Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore, Maryland." Hotch grew confused. What did a doctor in Maryland want to do with him? They didn't have any recent cases there, and even if they did, it was highly unusual for a doctor to call him directly.

"Um, yes. What can I help you with?" Hotch asked, confusion evident in his tone.

As the woman over the phone spoke, Hotch almost dropped the phone out of his hand. He was shocked. It couldn't be? Could it?

Once she had finished, he stayed silent for a solid ten seconds before rushing out a "We will be there as soon as we can" and hanging up. He barreled out of his office and yelled for the BAU team to meet in the conference room. They all stared at him, confused to see the sluggish and dull Hotch for the last three months be so animated.

When they remained still for a few seconds he yelled, "Now!" and continued to rush to the conference room. They all exchanged bewildered glances before following him. The team made their way to the chairs in the center of the room, assuming they were being briefed for a case.

"There's no time for a briefing. We need to go now." Hotch rushed out, pacing in the front of the room.

"What's going on, Aaron?" Rossi asked, still wondering what had happened to change Hotch's attitude so quickly.

He stopped pacing suddenly and turned to face the group, looking all of them in the eye before speaking.

"She's alive. JJ's alive."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, readers!**

 **Thank you so much to SpenceFTW, elphiemolizbethbau, rmpcmfan, and a Guest (you know who you are) for reviewing. It meant so much to me to get feedback on this story, so thank you!**

 **And SpenceFTW, I tried to ease some of your confusion about how Reid's been dealing with the whole situation in this chapter. I hope you like how I handled it.**

 **Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!**

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Spencer Reid sat absolutely silent in the backseat of the SUV, his mind racing with countless thoughts and questions. How was JJ found? What condition is she in? Is her condition life threatening? How will she be when they get to her? But his thoughts always circled back to one thing.

How in all hell did JJ survive three months in the hands of a sadistic serial killer when he only kept his victims for a maximum of two days?

He thought about voicing his questions out loud, but he couldn't. After Hotch had told the team the news, they all fell silent and still, too shocked to say anything. However, their dumbstruck state had only lasted a few seconds before they all sprinted out of the conference room, through the glass doors of the BAU, to the elevators that brought them down to the parking garage, and coordinated themselves into groups of 3 to drive to their destination, all the while none of them saying anything. Not one word passed through any of the six agents' lips.

The only information Hotch had told them was that JJ was alive. Reid longed for more information, silently going insane with not knowing anything about his best friend's situation. He was desperate to know something, anything, that would keep his mind preoccupied in the journey to... hell, he didn't even know where they were going. They could be going to Mexico for all he knew.

He needed to talk to Hotch and Prentiss, who were in the car with him, but he couldn't. It was completely silent in the vehicle, none of them having said a word since they had gotten in. Reid couldn't wrap his head around how to talk to them after being presented the statement that his presumably dead best friend, whom he had been grieving for for 3 months, was suddenly alive.

When Spencer Reid had heard of JJ's disappearance 3 fateful months ago, his world had started crumbling around him. And what was worse, he had no clue where or how she was. They hadn't found her body, so they had no idea what had been done to her, and thus, the young genius could never find solace in the luxury of closure. He had become completely withdrawn to everyone around him, never speaking more than a few words at once before becoming silent again, and receding into the dark thoughts plaguing his mind.

His mental state became so unstable with grief that he had considered going back to that god forbidden drug he had used and abused 5 years earlier, dilaudid. He had been tempted to resort to it so many times, desperate to relive experiences with the blonde beauty whom he thought he'd never see again. It would've been so easy to drown his sorrows in drugs, but every time the thought crossed his mind, he remembered the main reason he stopped.

Her.

He remembered how one day, on her way to drop off some files to Hotch, she had seen him enter the bathroom. He remembered how he was about to shoot up, the needle about to plunge into his arm vein, when his hand stopped. Suddenly, his syringe was gone from his grip, and the vial was taken from the counter in front of him. He remembered his desperate, pathetic pleading for her to give it back, to let him escape the looming trauma enveloping his mind and thoughts just one more time, the same mantra he had repeated to himself many times before. He remembered her tear-filled eyes with the sympathetic, guilt-ridden glint and her slight trembling upon looking at his distraught form. And finally, he remembered her warm embrace, the tears soaking both of their shirts, and her quiet, honey-filled voice whispering, "It's okay. You're okay. We're okay. Okay?" and the slightest of chuckles following. He remembered everything.

And he would not go against her memory by divulging in that behavior again. Especially because if he did, she wouldn't be there to stop him.

So, instead of the drugs, he devoted his life to finding the god damn bastard who took her. And he wouldn't stop until he was either locked up or dead. Preferably, the second one, done by his own hands.

He would read over the small case file regarding her disappearance from sunrise to sunset, writing notes and scribbling down every thought to pass through his supposed "genius" brain. He tried everything to get a lead, from combing through all the other women's lives whom had been taken, to calling Garcia in the middle of the night to research another person matching the unfortunately ambiguous profile. And it never got him anything. Not one damn thing.

That's it. Reid couldn't take it anymore. His mind, like it often did, was becoming a nuisance rather than an ally. He needed to know more about what was happening with JJ. He needed to know something or he was convinced, although he knew it was scientifically impossible, that his head would explode.

After 14 minutes and 23 seconds of complete silence, Reid couldn't take it anymore.

"Hotch!" Reid yelled suddenly, causing the older profiler to uncharacteristically jump in surprise and the steering wheel in front of him to jerk to the right. He quickly corrected his hand movements and went back to the center of the lane on the interstate, still maintaining a dangerously high speed.

"What the hell was that, Spencer!" Hotch barked back, angry at Reid's unexpected outburst. Emily sat still in her seat, not willing to participate in the argument, but still silently profiling the two. Hotch's atypical use of Reid's first name did not go unnoticed by her.

"I-I'm sorry, Hotch, I just...I don't know what came over me." Reid said quietly, looking down at his shoes. Suddenly, he looked up Hotch through the rearview mirror and with pleading eyes added, "How is she?"

Hotch froze. He had been hoping to avoid this question for as long as possible, but knowing Reid, knew it was only a matter of time before he'd be bombarded with questions. He sighed, knowing he won't be able to relieve much of the young doctor's distress, as he didn't know much. In fact he knew barely anything.

"I'm sorry Reid, but I really don't know much. All I know is that a women confirmed to be JJ was brought into John Hopkins hospital in Baltimore, Maryland about an hour ago. They didn't tell me about her condition or how she was found, all they said was that it's definitely her." Hotch replied regretfully. He wished he had stayed on the phone longer with the women to know more of what to expect when they arrived there, but he had been too shocked by the fact that JJ was alive to think about it. However, at the same time, he was kinda glad that he could avoid the impending news about JJ's physical and mental state for a just a little while longer. Because although he didn't know the details yet, he also knew that 3 months with a sadistic serial killer wouldn't be good.

And although he'd never admit it, Hotch was completely and utterly terrified of what they would find when they arrive.

Reid nodded his head in response, obviously not satisfied in the least with Hotch's answer. His face then took on the withdrawn look the rest of the team had become way too accustomed to over the last few months, and looked out the window to the blurred world outside the speeding car.

The rest of the car ride was like the beginning, with complete silence and increasingly pulsating heart beats as they neared their destination, the only sound being the woman's voice on the GPS every couple minutes indicating their impending destination that held the missing piece of their family.

When they finally reached the busy hospital, Hotch's SUV and the SUV that had been following them containing Rossi, Morgan, and Garcia parked. As soon as the black vehicle stopped moving, Reid jumped out of the car, not necessarily excitedly, but anxiously. Garcia did the same, scrambling out of the other car and joining Reid, the tear streaks on her face indicating her concern and astonishment at being able to see her sugarplum again.

Hotch and Prentiss, although unbelievably antsy about barging into the hospital and seeing the blonde again, sat in the car for a couple moments longer. They were here. This is it. They were going to see JJ again, alive no less. This was actually happening.

Hotch, noticing Emily's proliferating nerves, grabbed her hand. Prentiss looked at him suddenly, taken aback by his unexpected act of affection.

They looked into each others eyes, instantly calming each other. It was a silent exchange, letting the other know that despite whatever they found in there, it would all be okay. They would be okay. The team would be okay. JJ would be okay. They vowed to each other that they would make sure of it, even if it took the rest of their lives to make it happen.

Then they turned away, feeling much more levelheaded than before, and each put their hand on the door handle.

"Let's go." Hotch stated quietly, but confidently. With that, they stepped out of the black government- issued SUV and prepared themselves for what awaited them behind those glass hospital doors.

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 **There you go! That's chapter 2 of this story. I apologize if you guys think it's moving too slow or if you're upset there's no JJ in this chapter. I just thought it was important to set the foundation and give a little look into how JJ's disappearance has affected the team, as well as offer some backstory as to how Reid dealt with the whole ordeal.**

 **Also, I'm not quite sure if I want pairings in this story, as I've never really written romance before, but I'm willing to try if people want it. Leave a review telling me if you want romance, as well as leaving any other suggestions you have. Although I have the main story line for this story figured out already, I am willing to incorporate some of your ideas into it!**

 **Next chapter gives a lot of information into JJ's condition, both physical and mental, so get excited for that! I will try to get it within the week, as I'm on Christmas break right now.**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading!**


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